Updated: Apr 27, 2022
DISCLAIMER: This essay solely expresses the author’s views, experiences, and opinions, which may not represent the views, experiences, or opinions of EVOLVERE Mental Health.
This essay contains graphic descriptions of traumatic events and suicide attempts, mature subject matter, and mature language.
This essay discusses self-harm and suicide for the purpose of sharing the author’s experiences and opinions in an effort to help individuals who can relate to the author, not to sensationalize or encourage acts of self-harm or suicide attempts. If you or someone you know is considering, or have attempted, acts of self-harm or suicide, please reach out to a trained professional as quickly as possible by calling a suicide hotline or 911/your local emergency number.
Please consult a mental healthcare provider before creating or changing your treatment/therapeutic plan.
Reader discretion is advised.
Well, if you made it this far after reading my origins… then you have gained my respect. Now, my early twenties were a blur due to alcoholism and substance abuse. My saving grace at this time was meeting my wife. I am blessed to have her in my corner, and now my young adult children and my grandchild. Now, for the next several years, my work ethic (which was fueled by my desire to escape from mental illnesses in hindsight) turned into workaholism, and in 2011 I was hospitalized for a few days and instructed by medical doctors not to return to work for at least three months. I suppose that this is when the cracks first began to form in the box that I had buried my trauma in so long ago. In early 2014 (after several job losses, being on welfare, and moving my family across the country and back) I had a seven-day manic ep